(25) Breathless. Artificial air tastes like licked Lego, burned copper, dirty coin hands. My fingers are clenched and my skull throbs with the dull drum beat of a death march, kamikaze, this is the end. Last I remember is the grass, hands tearing on the hard earth, a pain like angry acupuncture. Doctor Remnbaud says…
(24) Kit Lock gets home in the early hours of the morning. Her husband’s shoes are not by the door and his coat is not on the rack. My husband, she thinks. She calls out his name even though it makes no difference and she thinks of calling Christian or Sally but neither of them…
(23) My feet don’t hit the right path, my ankles slip on the curb and the pavement moves like it shouldn’t. Kit’s blunt anger has spread across my body like lichen. The whiskey’s gone. I won’t go home. I won’t go home again. My eyes burn like rubbed-in chilli, I can barely keep them open.…
(22) Kit picks at a plate of cheese and pickles and crab stuffed into pastry balls garnished with brown dill. We are at an apex of a cacophony of second-hand voices and shrill laughter and the hearty crab-stained chuckles of too-old-to-be-trendy insurance brokers make my ear drums sting. There’s a group of four men with…
(21) “I told you to stay here,” Kit says when I come in the door. “I wanted some air.” “You look better,” but when I look in the mirror I know she is lying. She knows I know she’s lying. A lie shared is closer to the truth. “Thanks.” “Do you want to go to…
(20) When I wake Kit is stood over me. “I’m going to work. Stay here, okay? There’s Carbonara in the fridge. Here’s some water and some books to read. Stay here. I will be back as soon as I can. Stay here,” and she kisses me on the forehead and leaves. The second time I…
(19) I open the door. Kit’s sat on the stairs and I know the tears are for me. “Where have you been?” it’s the obvious question, one I’ve prepared for, but I still draw double deuce and she stares at me, “Where have you been?” “Kit I -” “A meeting with an agent. Then what.…
(18) My phone is vibrating in my pocket and I let it buzz. On the screen is Cora’s naked body covered in long kelp. She’s standing in a pool of ketchup which is smeared up her legs and around her crotch and over her kelped breasts. Last night’s moonlit escapade. I feel hard. I feel…
(17) Kit gets home at six the next day. Edward isn’t home. She calls Sally. “Sally,” she says, but has nothing to follow with. “What’s up?” “Edward. He’s not home,” and Kit feels angry at herself for telling Sally. “He’s out doing his project isn’t he.” “I just thought…” “That now he’s shagged you it’d…
(16) Water laps at the boat. I’m intently watching the skeleton with the red hat spin beside my paddle whilst its toes brush the reeds on the bank. We turn a bend in the river and I see the light of a fire in the distance. I paddle harder. There are three people against the…
