The fish caught my bait. Poor old Inspector. Is he a halibut, by any chance? Or a squealing fox? A squealing fox on the end of my rod. The hard old rod. Ready and poised. I put the glass of water down and follow the two figures out of the door, and then follow them…
The Puggleton Inn is where I like to drink the most. There is a man in there who sometimes wets himself all over the chair he is sitting in. I love to watch the staff have to clean the wee from the seat. I love it because I know that the wee stinks and smells…
Mrs. Crew lived in a bungalow by herself on Croombe Road. By herself, with a parrot. I had seen the parrot through the window. I heard it ringing, ring, ring, like a telephonic device. I heard it through the letterbox. On Tuesdays Mrs. Crew was visited by a nurse. From the nurse I learned Mrs.…
I think artichoke hearts are my favourite food. That’s not a lie. The way they crunch, and are not crunchy. They make the perfect topping on toast. White. Not brown. I just cannot stand brown toast. The colour. Brown. It reminds me of my darkest secret. A secret I can’t say. A secret so dark…
When I walk down the road I like to smell people as they pass. I do. Not obviously. Not right in their face. Sniff. I like to smell the waft they leave behind when they walk past. People at the Tuesday market smell like cigarettes and poo. Sometimes I smell mothballs, or urine. Nothing like…
(1) I can’t swim. I have almost drowned three times. Well. I suppose I should tell the truth. I have almost drowned once. On a beach, in Cornwall. I got stuck under a body board. In the story I tell to people when I first meet them, it was a surf board. It wasn’t a…
Seal Matches 