INFINITY ENDS: excerpt of a conversation between Paul, the sad dad, and his curious son, who doesn’t understand, not yet.

“The planet will one day be absorbed by the sun,” said the father to his six-year old son. “Absorbed by the sun?” “Horribly, there’ll be much fiery death.” The son nodded, “Like in X-men.” “Sort of, except X-men isn’t real, it’s a construct to help bring excitement to otherwise dull lives.” “Will it be dull…

MAKING EXCUSES

Everybody is an excuse maker. I won’t blog today because I have work in a few hours and I want to vegetate. I won’t tidy up the kitchen because I already cleaned it yesterday (and anyway it’s not that messy, the bin smells but I know that it’s the chicken from three days ago. I…

no one has turned on the jukebox

  To the girl on the train, we are not thinking about fucking you. We aren’t superstars. Instead, to fall in love, buy better shoes.   Following the drunks from pub to pub. Receding hair leaning on the bar. No one has turned on the jukebox. Who’s mum fucking died in here?   Sniff. He goes to…

Sunday Musings 20/11/2016

That’s right, tape over your webcam like Zuckerberg does, because the government is on to you, and if it’s not the government, then it’s a greeb in his mum’s basement watching you bash one off to the new Miley Cyrus video. Mrs. “Un-elected” May has just pushed through the most savage surveillance bill in the…

Who Killed Mrs. Crew (7)

The Puggleton Inn is where I like to drink the most. There is a man in there who sometimes wets himself all over the chair he is sitting in. I love to watch the staff have to clean the wee from the seat. I love it because I know that the wee stinks and smells…

DONALD TRUMP: THE ELECTED MEME

Credit to my pal Sam Garner for “the elected meme.” Donald Trump’s campaign was fuelled by a large group of pseudo-activists, whose picket line was not on the street, but on Facebook, reddit, Twitter and any other social media outlet you care to come up with. It is, as the Guardian has so nicely wrapped…

Who Killed Mrs. Crew (5)

I brush my teeth and think about the United Kingdom Independence Party. Mrs. Crew most definitely voted for that lot. She deserved what was coming to her. Her skin was very orange, between her folds gathered white pith. The sort of skin flakes that taste sour and accumulate on skirting boards. How? How does the…

Who Killed Mrs. Crew (4)

Mrs. Crew lived in a bungalow by herself on Croombe Road. By herself, with a parrot. I had seen the parrot through the window. I heard it ringing, ring, ring, like a telephonic device. I heard it through the letterbox. On Tuesdays Mrs. Crew was visited by a nurse. From the nurse I learned Mrs.…